Week 4 NFL Predictions Against the Spread

Welcome back Inside Hook loyal followers, now it's time for us to drop some NFL knowledge on you. You can thank us later. As most of you probably know, successfully picking NFL games against the spread is one of the most difficult endeavors known to man. It is tantamount to successful brain surgery or grasping the concept of molecular biophysical nuclear fission. So, with that in mind, we are scrubbed, gloved, and gowned and ready to dichotomize.

Before we begin this perplexing procedure, we feel it's only ethical to remind you, loyal followers, that there are some cutting edge surgeries that even the most skillful docs don't dare attempt. With this in mind, we give you our terminal case for week 5. Just observe this one through the glass.

Raiders at Texans line Texans by 9
The difficulty here lies in the fact that, in the words of Forrest Gump, the Texans are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Are they gonna be the pecan caramel Texans, with Schaub and Andre Johnson connecting for multiple TD's? Or are they the pink centered creme Texans that make you want to slam on your brakes and hurl on the side of the highway? Problem #1 for the Texans is the futility of their defense against the run. They are dead last giving up 205 yds. per game. If the Raiders can get their McFad on and their Bush Rush, as in Michael Bush, they can present problems for Houston. Or, they might try to have QB JaMarcus Russell, the only entity in America less accurate than the National Weather Service, try to throw repeatedly, which would undoubtedly result in a Texan blowout. Stay far away from this one.

Faithful followers, we now present our Fantastic Four NFL picks for Week 4.

Giants -9 over the Chiefs
The Giants are 3-0 against the spread, and are playing one of the 3 worst teams, maybe in the last decade, in the NFL. The Chiefs, 0-3 against the spread, can't get anything going offensively, but that's okay, because their defense can't stop anyone either. The Chiefs are 30th in the league in total offense, and 21st in total defense. Combine that with the Giants being ranked 6th in the NFL in total offense, you have a recipe for Giant success.

Bengals -5 1/2 over the Browns

Speaking of teams circling the drain, the Browns have lost their 3 games by 14, 21 and 31 points. Based on that Mangenius weekly decline, the line this week should be 40. "But Derek Anderson is starting this week. He's the key to victory!" You might say. Derek Anderson isn't the key to a rusted out '74 Pinto. Take the Bengals, trust us, we're doctors.

Bills -2 over the Dolphins
This week, the demise of the Dolphins lies in the fact that QB Chad Pennington, the most accurate passer in NFL history, is gone for the year. To add insult to injury, unproven Chad Henne will be called on to sub. Did you ever learn anything when you had a substitute teacher in 6th grade, other than the rules of Heads Up Seven Up? Henne's career QB rating is a paltry 55.7. Heads down, thumbs up. You want more? The Bills get a fresh set of legs in Marshawn Lynch to take some of the burden off of successful fill-in, Fred Jackson.

Cowboys -3 over the Broncos
What? The Broncos are 3-0! They're playing at home! The Broncos at 3-0, are as fraudulent as a Bernie Madoff scheme. They have beaten the 0-3 Browns, the 1-2 Raiders and the Bengals on a complete tangy zip Miracle Whip Stokely tip. ( I don't know, it all rhymes ) The Cowboys will saddle up their #1 rushing attack of Marion Barber and Tashard Choice and will dominate the line of scrimmage with their big offensive line. This will be the difference in the game.

There you have our Fantastic Four for Week 4. For more, loyal followers, leave a comment on our Facebook fan page. Check back Saturday morning for our Week 4 Fantasy Inside Hookups.